Along the river

We are now in practically the same boat; you, with more exciting adventures ahead, and I,

facing the end of fantasies.

A.

I’m sorry I don’t feel like talking.

I wish I didn’t have to post this.

A.

Extrapolating

美丽的意外

A beautiful accident.

A Beautiful accident.

A beautiful Accident.

abeautifulaccident.

Somehow, it doesn’t feel right, not as right as 美丽的意外.

If only switching languages would make some things feel right.

A.

#5

How can a thousand words be shallow?

 ~D.

Happiness, Happiness

I’ve been thinking.

What’s the difference between being drug-happy and non-drug-happy? The former is physically and mentally detrimental, not to mention illegal. The latter is not. Or the former is more tangible with its pill/powder/liquid form. While the latter is so abstract.

So I’m thinking. There’s always this incredible feeling of being high when something we really really want to happen, happens. Like, getting good results. Or getting acceptance letters. Or sponsors. Or meeting someone you love. Or not meeting someone you hate. Or knowing. Or not knowing.

It could be anything. Legal happy drugs could be sold anywhere. A travel agency offering a holiday package which guarantees a good time? The latest cellphone? Or, you might say, money can’t buy happiness. Okay. What about meeting a friend? An embrace? A kiss?

What about using a cellphone to arrange a guaranteed-good-time holiday with a friend or lover, to a place where you can embrace, kiss and feel temporarily in heaven?

Which happy drug lasts forever? Idealistically, love. Does it really? Love brings permanent happiness? That’s a thought, but who knows?

What about God? What about religion? What if, for the moment, we take God and religion out of this particular equation…

What difference does being non-illegal and non-directly-physically-and-mentally-detrimental really make?

What if these two things switch roles? What if what were once illegal drugs became legal, no-side-effectsy and charming? What if the other becomes illegal and health-wrecking?

Perhaps that explains why, when the supply of aforementioned legal happy drugs are slowly siphoned off;

Or, when they start losing their initial wham-bang effect;

I feel

You feel

We feel

Does everyone feel?






Happiness, happiness.

What if we’re searching for something that doesn’t really exist?

A.

#4

I am running.

                I am running now.
                                                                I am running now,

                               always have                                                                                                     
                                                                                                           and will be.

                       I am running now, always have and will be; alongside antiparellel lines that seem drawn from a pencil so prehistoric in nature, it extends to the very first experiment in Biology the Omnipotent once attempted, to the very red button on the stopclock he first pressed

                                      and forgot about. He must have found the instructions of the procedure extremely confusing, for as far as I know, he hasn’t yet finished his experiment, recorded the results, and most important of all, written a definitive conclusion of it.

                        It’s funny how the Things Most Significant to us at a particular point of time completely overrides all other necessary functions in us –be it physical, mental or spiritual–the experience can be likened to being in a blanket-cave, where all you think of is just

existing in that particular space, and time, and with that luxuriantly downy shroud of whiteness slowly pulling over every inch of your skin, you hardly know why or what everything else seen from the minute criss-crossed windows of the fabric stands for:

why is a fan how is the floor
                              when is biologychemistryphysicsmaths?
  When will we learn how crucial it is to be able to balance everything in our lives at the same time and perform them flawlessly at each turn?

Antiparellel lines; spawning as far as the eyes can see both ways, backwards, forwards, we are continually engaged in a game of connect-the-dots with every plausible point of reference in the victinity. Essentially organic, always protean, it in turn makes everything less important stand in its place unmovingly, indefinitely–or for as long as it takes for me to procure some semblance of meaning and balance of the see-saw world we’re living in now.

Until then, everything else can wait.

I think we secretly love being postmodernists. It sure has a way of irritating a lot of people.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

~D

#3

Oh yes, you do.

~D

Thursdays

I don’t carer.

A.