scattering

I shall not be emo. I am trying very very very very very a goolgolplex very (thanks Oskar) hard.

I love Chemistry.
I shall sleep less.
I shall intensify my feelings of love and passion for aforementioned subject every night.

…

But you were so close. You could have done it. You could have won everynight. It would have been perfect. The broken flower pot would have been drenched in your demons. They would remain in the pieces of broken clay…

You were so close.

I am not emo. No no no no.

: )

: )

Yay!

A.

who’s there?

So I slept at three thirty and woke up at four then I slept at four twenty then I woke up at six to something or someone rattling my door. At first I thought I was imagining the whole thing but then I sat up and evidently after a lot of rattling I decided it was not my imagination nor was it the river of tea I drank last night so I said, “yeaaaaaaah…?” because I thought someone was trying to annoy me by waking me up at six on a Sunday but there was no reply only the rattling, rattling, rattling. So okay I got up shone my handphone light on that glimmering glow below my door just to check whether there were any feet shadows but there were none and it kept on rattling and rattling and rattling so I got a bit scared. Six in the morning with less than two point five hours of sleep and the adrenaline is rushing rushing rushing and I’m thinking thinking thinking.

I was a coward and I didn’t get up to open the door and see what was making it rattle because I didn’t dare but now maybe I should, what if it was an elf, or a muse, or something equally interesting I would have missed my chance forever. I thought of texting anyone whom I thought would be awake or maybe even calling and asking for advice, should I open it, but then I didn’t because I think rattling doors sound ridiculous and being afraid of rattling doors more ridiculous still.

So that was how it was the door rattled me off to sleep in the end I woke up once more but by that time sleep had already tightened its grip on me so I returned to the Sandman in thirty seconds flat. I woke up this morning feeling so off-key with half my nose running and half of it stuffed and I couldn’t stop sneezing; wondering why the heck that was happening when I figured my demons were probably haunting me in my sleep last night because I sure as hell can’t remember what I was dreaming about for better or for worse I don’t know.

A.

inhale, exhale, inhale again

I should have done this a long time ago.

Doesn’t the story sound familiar. It sounds like you. It is normal. At least it is for me because I realise that we are very alike.